Children are more emotionally sensitive than we adults are. They develop attachments and form self-image too soon. When a child is adopted, he/she finds it more difficult to comprehend what’s happening around them. They grieve about the loss of their biological family and their culture while trying to make sense of complex thoughts.
If you are an adoptive parent, there are some measures you can take to make it easier for your child to deal with this issue. Here are they:
- It’s normal for your child to experience sorrow, anger or loneliness. Keep your head calm through it. Don’t give anger for anger or it will only make things worse
- When asked why he was adopted, always use simple and comforting answers such as “your parents couldn’t take care of you and because they loved you so much, they made the best choice for your future at that time” .This will make them understand that they weren’t abandoned.
- It normal for your kids to want to find out about their genetic history and birth family. Be prepared to answer their questions. Don’t ever dodge their questions. Patience is the key.
- Instead of using phrases such as “when you were born”, use “when you joined our family”. This will instantly make him more comfortable talking about it.
- Make sure you are completely honest when you answer your child questions. You can choose to answer briefly and leave the details for later, but be honest.
- Don’t feel dejected or hurt if your child struggles every day to know more about his biological parents. It DOES NOT mean he doesn’t love you.
There you go! Remember to seek help from a trusted professional if your child is struggling with adoption issues despite your best efforts to comfort him.